Stress Relief

My friend Paul sent me this screensaver today. Since it was the first thing that made me laugh all day, I figured it was worth posting!

You can move W around with your mouse if he gets stuck. Or you can -- as I did -- bash his limp body against one of the bubbles over and over again until your weekly stress subsides.

Go forth, now, and have fun. You can thank me later! :-)

Going the Distance

I've never been much of an athlete, much less a runner. In fact, when I was in high school, I dreaded the once-a-year, mile-long fitness test. I always ended up walking at least three quarters of it, if not more, and I was never motivated to improve.

Two months ago, however, at a moment when I was feeling pudgy and old, my friend Heather convinced me to run the NTELOS 8K with her. After the initial shock of signing up and committing myself to the race, I began training.

Each week of training had its ups and downs, both physical and mental. But, by the second or third week of training, I was able to run longer than I've ever been able to run before. And with each week, it just kept getting better and better.

So, I'm proud to say that yesterday I ran the NTELOS 8K (5 miles) in 55 minutes and 42 seconds, which is about 10 minutes faster than I thought I would run it. And I'm also happy to say that I'm looking forward to the next race to see if I can run it even faster!

Stolen from James Lipton, Val and Ross (p.s. love you guys and your blogs)

1. What is your favorite word?
Home (I love the warm feeling it connotes)

2. What is your least favorite word?
No

3. What turns you on creatively?
Uninhibited stream of consciousness writing

4. What turns you off?
My former step-father and my less-than-idyllic childhood

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Dip shit (It makes me laugh. I mean, who came up with that?!)

6. What sound or noise do you love?
Sam's inquisitive meow

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Sirens

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Novelist

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Motivational speaker

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Welcome. You've come to the right place!"

Where have you been all my life?

This weekend, Bryan and I traveled to Mishawaka, IN for my cousin Sean's wedding. We had a great time, and I think we learned a few things, too:

1. Bryan and I can travel 24 hours (total) in a car without killing each other! (The secret: Let me drive first so that I'm too tired to be a back seat driver when Bryan takes over.)

2. It's official -- I can be a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution! While going through a pile of geneological information my dad brought with him to Mishawaka, I learned that I'm a descendant of John Hart, a member of the Continental Congress who signed the Declaration of Independence. I also got to rummage through old baby pictures of me, my grandpa, dad, uncle, aunt and cousins. Cool stuff!

3. I have a lot of family I never knew I had!

Now, I know what you're thinking -- "How is it possible to not know who your family is?" The answer is pretty simple, actually. If you live in a military family, move around a lot and your parents never talk about your extended family, then you never really know they exist.

It may sound funny, but I felt more complete when we left Mishawaka -- in fact, better than I have in a long time. Perhaps spending time with my extended family and learning more about my heritage helped me to find my place in this world.

Finally, a sense of belonging!

I'm *so* street!

You wouldn't know it to look at me, but yo mutha f@#&er, I am *street* to the max.

I'm like that dude in Office Space, who rides to work with the gangster rap pumpin'. Because of me, Bryan now says things like "You know how it do," "Its gots da flows" and "You betta recognize." (Mind you, he doesn't say these to anyone *but* me. I think people would look at him like he had three heads if he did.)

You need only compare Bryan's vast 500+ CD collection to my limited 20-30 CD collection. Bryan may have 500 CDs, but he doesn't have Snoop, Ludacris or Dr. Dre. And the way I look at it, that means I *complete* him.

A few of my co-workers know what's up. One shares my love of rap. In fact, she and I, at some point, will go to a rap concert together, because we're certain our husbands, in all their pasty whiteness, would not be convinced to go with us.

And just last week, another co-worker answered me in street as we were chatting after lunch! Look at me -- setting a positive example for all the homies, mommies, shorties and peeps in RVA!

And it's not just my current colleagues. Co-workers at my last job were down with it as well. They even gave me my rap star name: "J'Lil"

In fact, those were the days when I read a lot of Herbert Kornfeld's column on The Onion. And you *know* that prepared me to work with accountants at my current job. (That's what I call karma, bitches!)

So, now you know. Yous gots da hippest, dopest, most bad assiest sister-in-law/wife/cousin/friend/shortie/mommie/peep/homie/honey in the Jencentric Universe. Holla!

My Real Age

So, my mom was telling me about this Web site called realage.com, where you can take a survey to determine your *real* age based on your pre-existing conditions, current health, lifestyle, etc. As I approach my 29th birthday, this topic has become increasing important to me -- #1 because I ain't gettin' any younger and #2 because my mother has had so many health problems that I worry about what that eventually means for me and my siblings.

Luckily enough for me, my *real* age came in at 27. Unfortunately for my 53 year old mother, her *real* age came in at 70.

UGH.

I worry about my mom -- her life has not been easy, and I often think that the physical and emotional abuse she has experienced throughout her life has been the main cause of her heart problems. I know I should point to other factors, such as her family history of heart disease or the fact that she has smoked longer than I've been alive, but ... I can't. I've seen her go through so much emotional pain, that I can't help but see how it has affected her physical health.

And I know she's tired ... of all of it ... which breaks *my* heart, because I know there are days when she doesn't want to fight anymore. And I can't help but think that those are the days when she's most susceptible to something horrible, like another heart attact.

P.S. My Precious Meows

Are these not the cutest cats you've ever seen?

A Heaping Dose of Fucidol

I usually don't have a problem with working. In fact, I enjoy working hard -- it's part of my identity and it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something.

But I tell you, when I don't feel like working, I don't feel like working!

Welcome to my week, and a heaping dose of fucidol. I know why I don't feel like working this week -- the weather has been nice, my work load has eased up a little and I always get this way when Bryan is on vacation and I'm not. Childish, I know, but I can't help it.

So, screw it all. I'm kicking back with a couple of beers, and NOT thinking about work tomorrow. YEAH!